Hello... here is my diary entry for today!
It is Tuesday 3pm this WORLD.
I am literally running on empty, I didn't get much sleep at all last night.
Mainly because I was so stressed and upset with a situation that happened with James at school yesterday.
So, when I went to collect James at school he said 'Mum, sore arm put sticker on it', I looked at his arm and it looked fine, I was talking at the time so I am guilty of fobbing him off. James asks me for stickers when he is sore, then I say 'where are you sore' and he will place the sticker on the sore spot.
He didn't seem like his happy self, he was really quiet and very sad looking, very very unlike him!
So on the way home I kept saying 'are you ok, James?' he would say sore arm, need cuddle.
We got home and normally we head outside and play... this gets rid of any build up of school stress and anxiety before we enter the house. Well... he flat out refused to play outside. Then he sat on the lounge for close to 2 hours really sad. I great. Then I went and got him one of his Christmas presents (outside sprinkler),.... he was very excited but wouldn't let me take his pre school top off to go outside. MUMMY ALERT< MUMMY ALERT. I just grabbed him and ripped the tshirt off because I then knew there was something underneath.
I saw a massive BITE MARK on the top of his right arm. I started crying and screaming at him 'what happened, what happened James'..... thats the worst thing I could have done. He was so upset and just got all his anxiety back. I took a few photos and we headed outside.
Whilst they played outside I rang all the pre school phone numbers, emailed them and left messages. I was stressed, angry, upset and disappointed all in one big bubble.
How could this happen?
He has a support worker?
He has been failed?
Where were the 5 teachers?
Where was the support worker?
He surely screamed, its a massive wound!
All these things just played in my head like a broken record! I briefly posted the picture on my Instagram account and pulled it down after a fellow Autism parent knocked some sense into me! He said something to the affect of, Calm. Comfort. Level heads prevail. Respond but don't react. Show him Mum is under control. He doesn't need more anxiety.
He was RIGHT! The best advise and something I need to remember in ALL situations... Thank you M, I appreciate it so much.
So I pulled the post down, poured a champagne.
This morning we were out the door early for James' sensory therapy. As I placed James' shoes on his feet he said 'No School, bite you'.
I knew he would say it eventually... he always does!!!
So I spoke with the Pre School this morning and they were not aware that this had happened. They know I am upset, I didn't need to drill them. I want a school where James is supported, engaged and encouraged and yesterday they failed him.
I pray that this is an unfortunate event that will NOT happen again. It's documented and noted and heaven forbid this happens again because I will be on the hunt. They hopefully take from this that he has a support worker for a reason. James like most ASD children doe not have the ability to tell us what has happened. He probably didn't even scream because he wouldn't have understood what was happening. When he was pacing in the bathroom asking for a tissue with intense closed fists, that should of been their alarm. Upon reflection they know that now.
You know its so hard.
We fight so hard for these kids.
We are their voice.
I make it known now that I am James' voice and I am a LOUD one, for he deserves equality... after all he is only different, NOT LESS THAN.