Monday morning 10.30am, Sydney, Australia.
I am enjoying a nice warm coffee while I watch my amazing little soul build a magnificent train track on the loungeroom floor.
I have been watching him a while now.
Watching how he studies each piece in order to make an outstanding masterpiece. Every turn is calculated for the length of train he intends to build.
I watch his mind tick over, problem solving the turns and hills that won't work and fixing accordingly.
He is peaceful, without frustration.
Calm and soothed by his passion.
James has been very calm this morning.
He was also very calm yesterday.
His beautiful calm nature is back.
That just cements a few things for me that was contributing to his unregulated controlling behaviour.
Scarlett's birthday was excitement plus.
Scarlett then had a party where James had to share his space with many people who he had to process.
Then Ninnie and Poppy stayed in his space where he lost control of his routines.
Poppy hasn't been at this house now for two days due to being the renovation man up at the new house.
James has his space back.
He can quietly and calming work through his overload to soothe his system.
His behaviour reminds me of the importance of giving James the opportunity to regulate his system.
James is a sensory autistic.
He hears better than anyone. My bionic hearing babe can tell you a train is coming well before you have even heard it.
He sees the finer details of everything.
He smells 1000 times better than us.
His skin is sensitive to all that touches.
So his system becomes uncontrollably overloaded very fast.
If he isn't allowed the moments to regulate all of that down to a baseline then it builds and builds and builds.
He then becomes controlling and upset in order to try and control his sensory system.
People see it as being naughty.
But it is not.
It's his life.
It's our life.
And it's different from yours we know that.
We do the best we can to ensure he has the time he needs but sometimes life runs away with us. So this stint has again reminded me that James comes first.
In order for us all to live happy and healthy lives we need to put his needs first.
Think before you make judgement.