Well hello there.
Thank goodness Christmas is over.
What a build up....
I couldn't understand why James was in such bad shape over the last few days but as it starts to quiet down now I can reflect on the past few days.
I now think I know why James has been struggling so bad.
A. BUILD up. Christmas is like 4 weeks of build up. Shopping. Presents. Excitement for Santa. ETC.
B. People in his space. Not being able to retreat like he normally does.
C. Sensory input. I couldn't dedicate as much time to getting his sensory requirements.
D. Lack of structure and routine. He went from a schedule to NOTHING.
What I have learnt this Christmas....
PUT my child FIRST.
James' anxiety and sensory needs have to be attended to first and foremost. ASD doesn't sleep. ASD doesn't take a break for Christmas. I need to be more attentive to James' needs, especially while he is young and struggles to communicate his needs to us.
Christmas was lovely, don't get me wrong. I loved having my parents here and we had a wonderful few days with family and friends. But when the family and friends walk out that door, James has his moments and it's those moments that break my heart, wear at my patience and hurt my soul.
Now that Christmas is over we are attending to James.
I sat down with Theo and we have a little schedule for James all the way up until he goes to school in early February. James is struggling with no school and no therapy, BUT we will get through it. We just need to listen to his actions and attend to his needs.
Next year we won't be here.
James does best on a cruise ship.
So we are going to give him that.
Christmas on a cruise ship 2017.
You know I am really looking forward to 2017. I know its going to be great. New goals. New year. New achievements.
The hardest thing for me over these last few days I think is that since James was diagnosed in Feb of this year I have seen so many changes and developments in him and then to see him struggle so bad this last few days just makes me ache. James makes me ache like no other. I feel like I have to protect him more than Scarlett. Scarlett can hold her own. James can't. It makes you really tired when you have to be their voice all the time. Its draining.
I read a letter a special needs Mum wrote yesterday.
It was an open letter to all the parents that judge her everyday for her children not being dressed appropriately or lunches not being packed to others standards etc. This letter really touched me because I felt her pain. The last thing on her mind is whether her children are wearing the right colour school socks yet she still gets judged for that. No one shes what she endures to get her two children even out the front door. The clothing fights, food fights, sensory meltdowns, the anxiety attacks... this poor woman is doing it all alone.
Well folks have a brilliant day and I will be back here tomorrow pounding the keyboard.
Lots of love,